Attractions, Dating, Dating Challenge, Girl Trip, humor, NYC, Online Dating, Travel, Uncategorized

Babeland Stamp of Approval: Woodstock

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Need to get out of town with your lady gang? Go to Woodstock. It’s cute as shit and everyone is so gosh darn nice and the air doesn’t smell like diesel and stewing garbage. It’s the perfect get away to remind yourself, “Hey, nature exists outside of Central Park and it’s fucking magical.” So here are a few pics and tips from our trip to Woodstock:

Where should I stay? So glad you asked. We stayed in an Airbnb about a mile from the center of town. This house had so much going for it- tree house, forest, living room with disco ball and lava lamps big enough for a serious dance party, projector screen hooked up to a dvd player (might I suggest Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and She’s the Man), big kitchen, great host, super graphic books about sex, amazing location. Click here for the house.

 

While we were there, we fell in love with the Catskills so much that we made a reservation for our next trip 10 months in advance (you read that correctly- Babeland is comprised of serious planners who get off on iCal notifications) at The Graham and Co. It’s a cute hipster Instaworthy motel-y paradise in the middle of a lush forest. It’s also typically booked several months in advance so get on it. Bonus: there was a cute boy with a beard chopping wood out front when we were snooping around. He works there. Go find him and ask for wine and more fire wood.

 

What should I eat? We at Babeland would tell you to eat everything. But for those of  you who don’t order 4 dishes each when you go out with your girls, you can still trust that these recommendations are delicious.

Garden Cafe: Vegan and amazing. We went here for brunch on a chilly Saturday morning and it was packed (not NYC packed, but very full and we had to wait 5 minutes to sit down).

 

Vinny’s Farm Market: Want to make a nice home-cooked meal? Go to Vinny’s Farm Market. They have amazing produce and random German desserts and mind-blowing ciders. And if you’re lucky and go in September, you might catch them when they have GARLIC DONUTS. Sound weird to you? Then you’re not worthy of the pure bliss that is a donut that will stink up your entire car in the best possible way.

 

What should I do? Live the simple life. Go to the flea market. Sit in a cafe and drink some matcha/chai/coffee/whatever. Visit the local shops. Smoke some weed. Hike. Drop acid. Just live your best life.

Bottom Line: Go to woodstock. Go alone and find yourself or go with a group of people you love and laugh your asses off. You can’t lose.

XO,

Art Babe

 

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Dating, Dating Challenge, humor, NYC, Online Dating

I Hate You, But I Love You

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“Doctor by day, sexy Jon Snow by night.”

That was the description that date #1 had on his Tinder profile.

Doctor? Cool, must be smart. Sexy Jon Snow? Even better! Who doesn’t love an illegitimate Stark?

I figured that because this was my first date of The Challenge, it would be a great idea to go out for drinks with a fellow GoT fan. I mean, even if we don’t hit it out of the park at least we’ll have lots to talk about, right?

The date started pleasantly enough. I arrived at small bar in Kips Bay promptly at 5pm. Before entering, I took a ceremonious deep breath and said to myself, “Let’s do this!” – then walked inside like the diva that I am.

Skipping forward a beat, Snow walked through the door several minutes later, but alas, it was not love at first sight. From the moment I saw him, I knew our relationship wouldn’t last longer than one date. But I had a few hours to kill before I met up with my Babeland girls, and he seemed nice enough. Boy,  did I call that wrong. He was not a nice guy. He was, what my mom would call – after one or two margaritas – “a little shit.”

After learning about his job (he’s a psychiatrist), his family and glossing over a bevy of other first-meet questions, the conversation began to dwindle. That’s when he asked me about my tattoos, piercings and my recently-placed birth control implant (I still had the bandage over my arm, and a nasty bruise to go with it).

Now, while I’m a big fan of birth control, it’s not really a topic that I like to bring up on first-dates – mainly because it preludes to sex and I’ve found that guys can be a bit presumptuous. I mean, why can’t a first date just be about getting to know each other?! That said, he was a doctor, so the topic should be pretty safe. And it was. At first.

After continued conversation, we hit another lull – and that’s when he asked The Question:

So, I see that you have lots of piercings and tattoos… so you’re not afraid of needles…?

Umm… yeah. Sure, needles are cool. I guess. [Insert questioning look from me, here.]

So you you have a high tolerance for pain?

Well, I mean, I don’t think I’d withstand torture very well, but shots and things like that don’t bother me. (I think it’s important to note here, that I have a few piercings, but nothing crazy or out there. Just a nose stud and some ear piercings, as well as a few discreet tattoos.)

So, like… Does your tolerance for pain extend into the bedroom?

Wait. WHAT???? Did he seriously ask me that?

After a long pause Snow spoke up.

I’m sorry, was that inappropriate?

Seriously? Was that a question? HELL YES!

Yes, that was forward. That was really forward… I mean, just so you know, that was a very inappropriate question. 

There. I said my peace. While I could have (and should have) bounced right then and there, I still had 2 hours until I met up with my fellow Babes. What’s a girl to do? So I order another, stronger, drink.

To make a long story short, the rest of the date was relatively boring. I learned that we were very different people and had very different opinions. In fact, at one point, I escaped to the bathroom to text the group about my fiasco of a date, to which they said “bail now and come over early.” So I did just that. But not before Snow made one more statement: I can’t tell if I hate you, or if I love you. 

GET OUT. NOW.

So with that, I bid the guy farewell, told him I hope to never see him again, and walked out the door like the boss betch I am.

But honestly though, no wonder the dude’s still single!

Love you betches!
Bossy Babe

 

 

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